Loving someone and being loved were two of the best things in this world. There is nothing wrong with having a boyfriend for as long as your number one priority is the Lord. You love him and you are happy with him. You are Christians and love the Lord both. Having him around, holding your hands, staring at each other, laughing, entangled with each other arms, being kissed, hearing sweet words from him, felt like heaven. You are not doing anything wrong, you are not committing premarital sex and I guess there is nothing wrong with it. But what if God asked you to end the relationship? What if He is telling you to set your priorities but having a boyfriend is not part of the list? What if you are not yet ready for marriage? What if you are not sure that this guy is not the right one for you? What if beyond the happiness you are feeling is guilt of disobeying what God wants you to do? What will you do? Will you continue the relationship or will you obey God?
His name is Francis Duazo, a Call Center Agent from Mandaluyong (labas/outside),. I met him when I was in China through Christianster. One afternoon while busy doing stuff on my computer in the office, a message popped up asking me if I am coming on December 17. I was shocked and asked curiously what about on that date and who is he. We started chatting almost everyday from then on. We talked about lot of things and getting to know each other but not in a sense that we are interested in each other. He’d been there when I needed a friend most. I am struggling in China those times and whenever I feel like crying he is always there to cheer me up. I’ve been crying almost everyday and he is always there. I feel so comfortable talking to him and sharing him my problems. I am so at ease and I trust him that much maybe because he is Christian, a person with a good heart, matured and caring person. I never thought that I am talking to a 19 year-old-guy. He seems like 25-27 even more mature to other guys I met or even with the guys that I’ve loved before. As the day passed by, I started missing him and feeling the excitement to work just to hear from him. I can’t imagine myself missing someone like that. I told Ate Cecile and Romel about it. I told them how I met him and I started to miss him in a crazy voice while scratching my head. They are laughing at me and asked me if I am missing JC. I said no, not anymore while screaming like Sisa (insane woman). Whenever I sigh, Ate Cecile and Romel will always say, “I guess that is Francis again”, then I just nodded and scream again asking why I am missing him. Am I insane? They will answer I guess you are as always and laugh. I’ve been like that for a couple of days/weeks as if I don’t know myself and I can’t believe what is happening to me. Before going home, I sent him a message that I am going home and I might not be online and have a chance to talk to him again. He replied saying, don’t do that to him and he begged to text him when I arrive and asked me if he could fetch me in the airport but I refused to.
When I came home from China, I called him to surprise him. He was so shocked and really happy. He’s like crazy laughing because of the joy he is feeling. I never thought that he is starting to fall. He started to pursue me from then on. His efforts and sweetness were knocking me off my feet and I started to feel strange for him. But I don’t wanna give in because I really can’t commit to anyone and having a boyfriend is not part of my priorities.
After reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris my convictions and perceptions for dating changed and my convictions became stronger after reading Passion and Purity. I was looking for Passion and Purity book to buy a copy for me and for Daneth that I want to send her to Japan. The book was recommended by Dhines and she wants me to read it telling me the book was good and it will benefit me. While looking for the book, I forgot the title. I sent message to Dhines asking the title but I got late reply hehe. Then I asked Jhay if he knows a book that will help you entrust your love life to Christ. He answered, it is I Kissed Dating Goodbye? Upon reading his reply, the book was sitting right in front of me. Then I said, ok Lord I think this is the book you want me to buy so I will buy it. I bought two copies, one for me and one for Daneth. The book was great and it changed my whole life. Every story, quote, moves me and I always ended up crying. From then on, I told myself that I should also kiss dating goodbye and wait for the right guy to come along. I was in love with JC that time and I was challenged by the Lord to surrender Him my love life. He told me to give up hoping for him and told me that I should be satisfied with Him alone before He will give me the guy who is meant for me. Then I asked Him “My Lord, are you sure you want me to give up my love for him? He is the guy that won my soul and draw me closer to you. Do you really want me to forget him?”, “Ok if you want me to do that then give a clear sign that I should obey you.” After a few days, JC stopped texting me or replying with my messages and never returned my calls. I know that he is really busy but there is pain in my heart on what he is doing. From then on, I told the Lord “Ok I give up. I am entrusting you this area of my life.” I sent messages to him saying goodbye. My reasons why I gave him up are also because I don’t want to bother him from serving the Lord. I don’t want to add burdens in his life because I am thinking that I am disturbing him, I want to reserve him and help him maintain his purity, for me to focus on my ministry and prove that I can be happier and satisfied having Jesus alone without any guy at my side and of course to follow what He commanded me.
The books helped me set my priorities in life. My priorities is to serve the Lord, win more souls for Him, support and serve my family, and help others specially my friends that’s it. Having a boyfriend is not part of my priorities. When I started to feel something for Franz, I am always praying and crying, asking His guidance. I know that He wants me to wait that’s why I am struggling because I want to obey Him but there is something in my heart that feels something for him. I am fighting for the feeling and I even asked Jhay to help me sort out things as well as Auh. Jhay is my counselor, I trusted him so much because he is a great Christian friend. I turned down Franz more than 10 times but he is persistent and I am having difficulty dealing with it. It’s not my nature to be frank and rude on refusing someone. There is pity because I don’t want to hurt him because I am more hurt and it is really hard for me to do that. Every time I’m turning him down, he is pleading and begging me to give him a chance. I am crying everyday praying and asking the Lord to help me be strong and I am also praying that Franz will change his mind, asking the Lord to give him strength to accept my decision. He called to tell me how much he loves me then he said goodbye. I thought it was ok by then so I offered him my friendship because that is all I can give him though deep in my heart I am falling for him. I don’t want to give him a chance because there is whisper in my heart telling me to wait because he is not the right guy for me. And I don’t want to have a boyfriend, not that time. Days had passed but he keeps on sending me messages and calling me telling me how much he loves me. Wanting to visit me but I always refused to. But one day, I got no text from him and I was really worried wondering what happened to him. He is always calling and texting me then suddenly he became silent and that made me think. Next day, no message, no call, no sign at all again. I became more worried thinking that something might happened to him, what if he lost his cell phone, what if he is sick, what will I do? I never stopped praying asking the Lord to help me. Oh I can’t help it so I called to check how is he. He is crying telling me how much he is missing me and how much he loves me. Then he called me and asked me to give it a try. He told me that despite of being young he can love me and support me more than an older guy can. When he told me that soon I will miss him, I felt strange because I am missing him already. I told him what I am feeling for him. Before I sleep that night, I am crying to the Lord again and asked Him what will I do with this feeling. “My Lord I don’t wanna be separated from You. You know me more that I know I know myself and You know that I am losing myself whenever I fall. I don’t wanna lose my focus on serving You and I don’t want to waste all the things You’ve done and given me just because of this feeling maybe I am in love with him my Lord. Please help me and lead me to the right path. I don’t want to miss Your perfect plan for me and I want to obey Your will so please I am pleading, please help me. I love You more than anyone else in this world and I don’t want anyone to go before You.”
Crying on my bed that night, my feelings exploded. I sent Franz a message that I think I love him but I can’t commit him myself because of my mission and priorities in life. Then I admitted that I really love him and I am sure about it. We talked and he is crying and I explained him that I can’t disobey God’s will and I can’t miss it. Crying and praying every night because of this love. Till the next day, he called me and we talked about our feelings. He told me to give it a try and if it will not work then we can stop it. So I agreed and gave him my heart. I was so happy and thanked the Lord for giving me a chance and promised Him that I will not lose my focus on serving Him. He will still be my number one priority.
Having Francis is such a great gift. I never thought that I will love again. I keep on telling him that the Lord will always be number one in our hearts, our number one priority, we should serve Him. If we lose our focus then we will end the relationship and he agreed on it. I never lose my focus on serving Him and my daily devotions continue. Despite of that happiness, I feel so guilty because I am afraid that I might miss God’s will for me. I love Francis and I don’t want to hurt him again what would I do. I want to break up with him but my heart wants to continue the relationship. I am crying everyday asking forgiveness for disobeying the Lord. But I am thinking, that I might have a mission in his life. I want to help him too to have a deeper relationship to the Lord. I can see that despite of being a Christian, his relationship to the Lord was not that intimate. That is what keeping me strong to continue the relationship but the guilt is still haunting me. This is what I am praying everyday, “My Lord, you know that I love you so much. I really want to obey You and I won’t think twice to give You my life. I love him so much but I love You more. I don’t want to hurt him again but I know that I should stop this. If this relationship will not be pleasing to You, please help me find my way out. Please do something to separate us because I don’t wanna be separated from You again. I’d rather lose him that being astray from You.” I even added that on my prayer requests in our church. It always reminded me of the messages Miss Karen gave me that came from the Lord. That I am on His operating table healing and restoring me emotionally for what is to come and told me to be bold. Is this what you are referring my Lord? I keep on asking Him.
It’s really hard to love someone and be in a relationship knowing that you should not. While reading Keep A Quite Heart by Elisabeth Elliot, I found this that helps me and gives me strength: “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13. I was uplifted and thank the Lord for the chance He gave me and promised Him that if He is seeing that if this will not lead to something good then I will end it through His help. Hearing his voice everyday, reading his messages, were fulfilling. But every night before you sleep and being with Jesus alone is such a shame because you feel guilty. As what Miss Karen told me before, I have to stay in His peace, go this way not that way. Those messages keep playing on my head. Can you stand the guilt everyday? I told Dhines about him and my struggles because of the relationship. I realized that I love Him more and I can’t continue to ask for forgiveness over and over and over the same thing. I told Him to handle this for me because I am confused and I know that Satan is the author of confusion and I know this is not coming from the Lord. If He wants me to stop this, I asked Him to help me find my way out.
One afternoon, while sending Franz sweet messages telling him how much I love him, something went wrong. I was hurt and I ended up crying because I never expected what had happened. I closed my eyes and prayed, “My Lord I know that is coming from You. And You really asking me to give him up that is why You let this happened. I know that You planned this. I am sorry for disobeying You but from now on. I am ready to give You my pen and let You write my love story. Ok I will end this relationship now and do what You want me to do.” I’ve decided to end it not just because of what he’d done but mainly because this is what He wants me to do. I was really hurt that time. Franz is begging me, crying to give him another chance, telling me how much he loves me. He is sincere and I know he really didn’t mean to hurt me. His mom even talked to me and I know how much he really loves me but I can’t continue and can’t stay that way knowing God wants me to sacrifice this relationship. I love him so much and he knows that. I’ve proven that many times but I can’t disobey the Lord again. The chance He gave me was enough and I am grateful for that. I consulted some friends like Aple and Jhay about my decision. Jhay told me that I know what to do but they are just being blocked. It’s really hard to give up someone you really love and someone that made you really happy. I am struggling fighting a battle between needing to obey God and yet longing to fulfill my passionate sensual desires. I want to continue the relationship but my conscience is killing me. I am missing him so much and whenever I am seeing Gian Carlo of Starstruck and the thriller of Le Robe and hearing the song “If we just hold on to our love and never let it in. “ my heart is crying in pain. I love him so much and that hurts me so bad. Upon reading When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy, the guilt is becoming stronger. This part that was written and told by Leslie Ludy on the book made me cried:
“In a soft, tender way I felt a tugging on my heart. God was trying to get my attention, to open my eyes to the truth that would change my life. If that moment could have been translated into conversation with God, it would have sounded something like this: Leslie, don’t you believe that I know who you will marry, and that I am capable of leading you to that right man someday? “Of course, I believe that, God, but what does that have to do with the here and now?” Well, Leslie, can you also believe that I am the God of all creation? I know you better that you know yourself, and I am perfectly able to bring this man into your life in My own time, in My own way.. and I don’t need your help.”
At the end of one chapter of the book, Leslie asked to open the Bible and read Genesis chapter 22. The chapter made me cried. It is the story when Abraham was asked to sacrifice and slay his own son Isaac. I prayed crying in pain, asked for forgiveness because this is the second time God asked me to sacrifice my Isaac. I can’t stand the pain for it’s tormenting my soul and heart. That day, I spent my time pondering. I am thinking how much I love Franz, am I really ready for a serious relationship? Why do I have to give him up if I can keep him but serve the Lord at the same time? Then a quote from Joshua Harris from his book I Kissed Dating Goodbye came into my mind “Don’t say I love you if you are not ready to say, will you marry me.” For ladies, it’s somewhat “Don’t say I love you if you are not ready to be with him for the rest of your life.” The main point is: “If you’re not ready for marriage, wait on romance.” Then I told myself that I am not yet ready for that. I am not sure that he is the guy that I want to share the rest of my life with. I am not stable as far I know. I am not spiritually, physically, emotionally, and financially ready. I have to fulfill my goals on serving Him first and supporting my family. Those things helped me to stand firm on my decision to end it up. I don’t want to see Franz that time but I realized that it is better if we can talk it over personally. It became harder to let go. Every time he begs me, I am trying to close my heart and stand firm. It’s my nature for having a weak-soft-heart but I am fighting. His embraces taking me but I am praying for His protection to fight the temptation. I had a hard time convincing him to let go. I explained my situation and told him that if we are really meant for each other God will lead us back to share a life forever. I told him that we should stop texting and calling each other. If we want to send messages no more I love you’s and no more I miss you’s. We should be friends and serve each other as brother and sister till the time comes that we are both ready to settle down. He bargained and told me that he will wait for 1 year, I agreed because I know that we will get back together if we are really meant to be. I tried not to cry and be strong but he does before we separated that day. When I came home, I prayed and asked for forgiveness because his kisses, embraces, and the way he holds my hands almost took me. He called early in the morning asking to see me again, I refused to because I know that I might change my mind to let go and give him a chance. He begged and here I am having a loving heart agreed to see him. I tried to stay inches apart while we are walking but I am so weak to fight it. I am like crazy telling the Lord forgive me this will be the last time I won’t do it again. I’m sorry I love him.
He accompanied me to pick up my birth certificate at DFA and while I am waiting all alone inside. I heard whispers in my heart telling me “This should be the last time that you will be with him. I know that you love him but are you ready for a serious relationship that might hinder you from fulfilling your priorities? Are you ready to be married even if you haven’t achieved anything? Can you afford to disobey the Lord again and miss His perfect will for you and him?” Oh my gosh I can’t! While we are on the bus on our way to Megamall, I talked to him seriously and begged him to help me. I told him that I can’t afford to disobey Him. I am crying and begging him to understand the situation. I shown him the book When God Writes Your Love Story that I will be sending to Daneth and asked him to read my message for her and told him that is it the same message that I want to tell him. He read and here is my message as far as I remember:
Neth,
I love you so much and I care so much for you. I want you to read this book and meditate on every phrase and quote written on it. This is a great book that will help you find the right direction for your love story. The Lord loves you so much and He sacrificed His life for you. But more than that, He wants you to trust Him completely and offer Him everything including your love life. He has great blessings in store for you if you will keep on following Him. He knows you more than you know yourself. Girl, I pray that you will surrender Him your pen and let Him write the sweetest love story for you. I love you so much. God bless!
Gayle
After reading he closed his eyes and cried. It is more painful for me but there is nothing I can do but to follow what is right. I hold his hands so tight and told him how much I love him. The pain is torturing me, my heart does not want to let go but I know this is what’s best for us. After eating, we talked again and I explained him again for him to understand the situation completely. I told him “You know what? God really loves me so much. You just don’t know all the good things He’d done in my life. I never felt such a great love than His love for me. I can’t disregard all the sacrifices He’d done for me. He gave me so much blessings and I can’t trade all those things for this relationship.” He is so silent and teary-eyed. Then I continued, “I know that I have a mission in your life and I will help you no matter what. I know that you are Christian but I consider you a lost sheep. I want to help you have a deeper/intimate relationship with Him. I am praying that the Lord will touch your heart, open your heart and mind so that you will realize what He wants you to do. But I am grateful for having you and I thank God that you are Christian because if you’re unbeliever, you might not understand me. Please keep all the things I am telling you in mind and apply them in your life. You’ll see the big picture soon and I am sure, you will thank Him for His blessings. If we are really meant for each other He will make a way. If not, don’t worry you will not lose me. I will be the best among your friends” He reacted and said “No I don’t want you to be my friend. I will wait for you and marry you after a year. I will keep myself pure. I will serve Him and work hard for my family and for our future. When I am stable, I will marry you.” I smiled and said “Ok! Please help me obey Him. I need you to help you. I love you so much but I love Him more. I can’t pick you over Him. We have to serve Him first. If you are on my situation I know that you will do the same.” He reacted and told me that he knows that I am the one for him. It was his first time to have a Christian girlfriend and he’d been praying for it for a long time. Then I told him, “We only have one God. Don’t tell me He wants you to continue this. Have you tried consulting Him asked Him what to do?” He is smiling then I said, “I don’t think He is telling you to continue. If you will only hear Him and if He is here right now I know He will tell you “Son, let her go and wait for my time.” We are serving only one God, aren’t we? Do you have other God?” Then he jokingly replied, “My God is Buddha,” then he smiled. I hit him and said, “Don’t say that, He can hear us. You crazy we will be punished. If He is telling you to continue why He is telling me to end this and give up.” He nodded and asked me for a paper and pen and said “Last night I prayed God gave me this verse.” He wrote Ecclesiastes 3 then I asked, “What have you prayed, what verse, what is it all about..?” “The whole chapter. It is all written there. I prayed for us and if we are really meant for each other then we will be.” Then I told him to read Genesis chapter 22 when he get home.
I was so happy that time because he understands. But still painful because it’s really hard to let him go. For the very last time, we spent a wonderful time together. Walking in the mall holding each other hand, embracing, like no one else is around. As if we are all alone in the mall, laughing, singing, tripping. Every minute he will whisper, “I love you so much” I answered, “I love you too” back. We had so much time but sad because I know that will be the last time I’ll be with him. Before we separated, we kissed each other goodbye and told him not to break his promise.
When I came home, I opened my Bible to Ecclesiastes chapter 3. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 I cried while reading the whole chapter. I was so blessed for having him in my life and I am glad he is Christian and able to comprehend what I am going through. Then he called and told me he will wait for me as I told him not to break what we have promised. Before I sleep, I read my books then I prayed. I thanked Him for the chance He gave me for giving me Francis though what happened was really painful. I thanked Him for giving me strength to accept and follow His will. I prayed that He will continue to guide me and help me fulfill His will for me. I asked for forgiveness for having a stubborn heart, for letting Francis kiss me and for kissing him and told Him that will be the last time. I feel so guilty about it though it was just a kiss. I told myself before that I will never kiss a guy again, I will limit myself on holding hands and I want our first kiss to be on our wedding day and I am so shame because I let him kissed me and I even kissed him. It’s just a kiss yeah it is and there is nothing wrong with it. But kiss can lead to lust and that is a sin. As what Joshua Harris quoted Ephesians 5:3 on his book Not Even A Hint, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.” Since I became Christian and accepted Christ in my life, my conviction and perspective when it comes to romance had changed. The Lord had forgiven me from my past sins when I asked Him to forgive me. He restored me, cleansed, and purified me and I don’t want to commit the same sins and mistakes I’ve done before. Those past sins still haunt me but through His grace, forgiveness, and love, I am able to cope up with it. There are times up to this time that those mistakes keep knocking at my door I just don’t open it because I know Jesus died because of me and He will not condemn me, He will not bring up my past sins and never use them against me. This message of Joshua Harris from his book Boy Meets Girl moved me and made me cried:
“When you come to Him in prayer, He doesn’t label you as a fornicator or an adulterer – He doesn’t see you are dirty and unworthy of His love. He sees you wearing the righteousness of His Son. Through faith in Christ’s work at the cross, you can “approach God with freedom and confidence” (Ephesians 3:12). God now rejoices over you like a groom rejoices over his bride (Isaiah 62:5). You are clean. You are totally forgiven. You are His. Your past has no claim on you because God had made you new. Never forget it. Never doubt it. Never stop rejoicing at the miracle of God’s grace.”
There is fear in me that the guy that I will love might not accept me and my past and we might struggle on our relationship but I am confident that the Lord will help us. But I can’t continue doing that and ask for forgiveness after that. I know that I should learn to control myself and I am asking the Lord to help me do that.
Last night while praying I discerned, that the Lord had used the situation for His glory. I know that it a test of faith for me and Francis. I thanked Him for being such a wonderful Friend and Savior. I know that through what happened to us, Francis and I will have a great future and we will be closer to Him. Then I remembered this message that I read on my book Quest For Love by Elisabeth Elliot:
“Our sufferings are not for nothing. Never. However small they may be, we may see them as God’s mercy in giving us the chance to unite them with His own sufferings. Christ suffered for our sins and we suffer because of the sins of others (and they suffer because of ours). There is a mystery here, far deeper than our understanding, but we may take it on faith, on the authority of the Word, and believe it will not go for nothing. But let us never suppose that since God always knows how to work for good to those who love Him, the wrong we commit against them is not wrong. It was evil men who worked evil against the Son of God at Calvary. It was the worst thing that ever happened. Yet God transformed it into the best thing: our salvation. A broken heart is an acceptable offering to God. He will never despise it. We do not know what unimagined good He can bring about through our simple offering. Christ was willing to be broken bread for the life of the world. He was poured out like wine. This means He accepted being ground like wheat and crushed like the grape. It was the hands of others who did the grinding and crushing. Our small hurts, so infinitely smaller than His, may yet be trustfully surrendered to His transforming work. The trial of faith is a thing worth much more than gold.”
I am so happy and overwhelmed because God is truly faithful and loving and He deserves my faithfulness, all the glory, and praises. I used to live without Him but now I can’t imagine my life without Him. I can’t live without Him. I will rather lose everything but not Him. I can’t afford to be separated from Him. I love Him so much and I am willing to follow whatever His will for me. I am always praying for strength to accept His will. I used to pray asking Him this and that but now when I pray, I am telling Him let His will be done not mine. Help me to obey His will and strength to accept it and to surpass it. Knowing that He is with me, everything will work out fine. I maybe broken hearted now but soon I will be blessed with greater joy. I am glad Francis understands and slowly doing his promises. His text yesterday moved me saying, “Take care of yourself always. This is hard but I can’t do anything but do follow if we want this relationship be blessed. I love you so much. Mmwaahh!” The message made me cried really but still happy because slowly the plan is working. Then he called, we talked about the plan again. Then he said that he is praying that I will be the one and asked me if I am praying that he will be the one. I said no, and told him whenever I pray, I am not asking such things and that. I am always telling Him to do His will for me. If I will ask a specific thing I will be frustrated if it will not be given to me so why not let His will be done? He knows what’s best for me and I trust Him that much.
Every time I think about Francis, still feeling the pain and the longing to be with him but there is joy because I know that God has plan for us. If we may not be meant for each other, He will give us the one we deserve and the right one for us that is certain. I remembered one story told by Joshua Harris on his book, Boy Meets Girl, a love story about Rich and Christy. Rich and Christy love each other so much. Their feelings for each other were real and deeply romantic. But Christy’s dad (Mike) intervened and asked them to break up because they need to prepare for their future first. Rich understands and he agreed. They struggle and break the word they gave to Mike. Rich asked Mike and his wife for forgiveness and promised, the relationship really was going to end and decided to get out of each other’s life. He took back all the letters he had ever written her. Christy handed them over. Rich said, “I wanted to serve her. I wanted to take everything from her that represented my feelings for her. Those letters were the record of our love and all we had shared. We cherished them and reread them over and over. I knew that in order to truly lay the relationship down at God’s feet, we both had to part with them.” Rich put the letters in a box, covered it with plastic and buried it in Christy’s front yard. A year and a half, the love they felt for each other hadn’t gone. Mike was impressed because he discovered that they had no communication at all within that year. He gave blessing to Rich and a permission to start courtship with Christy but Rich told he needed time to pray about it. Rich had sensed God saying that it still wasn’t the right time for courtship and Rich was not ready to be married. They did not begin a courtship then but they did start to talk as friends. A year later, they got back together with their parent’s blessings. This is the romantic part: The Christmas before she graduated from college, Rich gave Christy a tree and asked her to plant it on the front yard. Christy does not know that Rich buried the letters there and stayed there for four years. Before Rich buried the box, he had place one new letter on top of all other that Christy never read. In it, Rich asked her to marry him. After digging and reading the last letter, Rich pulled and engagement ring from his pocket, he heard her answered, “Yes!” Oh how romantic isn’t it? That story is giving me strength despite of the pain and hardship I am feeling right now.
I was really inspired by that story same with the story of Joshua Harris and his wife Shannon, Eric and Leslie Ludy, and of course, Elisabeth Elliot and Jim Elliot. Elisabeth and Jim served the Lord first though they are longing for each other. They did not let their feelings hinder them for their missions and their ministries. I admired them so much. They waited for the perfect time of God before they get married. The Lord had bombarded me with books that I should read and those books really helped me a lot. Through those books and my Bible, my life had changed and my relationship with Him got deeper and deeper. I can’t let my day pass by without reading them, meditating and praying. God is truly great and faithful.
The burning desire of having my own family, to be married soon is always in my heart and God knows that. I am praying for that always and I know in time He will give me the desires of my heart but as of now, I have to set my priorities and continue following Him. I was uplifted by this quote I read from Quest For Love that was sent by a girl to Elisabeth Elliot, “I have learned to be content in all circumstances, with or without someone, and have grown much closer to God. I know He has great blessings in store for me if I keep following Him.” That quote makes my faith stronger. I am not yet ready for marriage so might as well stay single and serve the Lord and my family. I have surrendered Him my pen and let Him write my love story. He is the Author of True Love and Creator of Romance, He knows what to do without my help. I just need to trust Him completely and obey. When I am ready, the Lord will tell me to settle down and He will surely lead me to the right guy who knows it will be Francis. God only knows but I will discover the right one in time. Honestly, I am so excited to meet my future husband. Sometimes, I am thinking what he is doing, how he looks like. I am so excited to be with him and serve the Lord with him. I should start to be faithful and save all my love and all I got for him. I can’t wait to share my God-written love story and can’t wait to be a Proverbs 31 woman. But for now, I will enjoy serving the Lord to fullest as a single woman.
“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” Song of Songs 8:4
“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; river cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.” Song of Songs 8:6-7
Someday you’ll stop falling in love with someone new every month. Someday love will last for week and months and stretch on into years. When lasting love comes – a love “as strong as death,” a love “many waters cannot quench” – then you’ll know you’ve found the right one. Then love will lead you to commitment of marriage. You’ll want to be with that one person for the rest of your life. Don’t get “being in love” mixed up with “lasting love.” It’s so tempting to think the guy you met last week is “the one.” But you can’t tell until being “in love” has stood the test of time and become “lasting love.” – quote from Teen Study Bible.
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