It's Great To Be A Christian

I was raised Christian, but I stop attending services when I resigned from my work at Makati and got back home here in Pampanga. I always pray but that's it. I wanna remain Christian but I don't actively participate or attend any Sunday Service. I've been a back-slider for 3 years. Last year something happened to me, I had so many trials and then I met Jhay. Because of him I was inspired, then I started reading inspirational books. I am starting to get over the pain but one day I noticed that there is still bitterness and hatred in my heart though I am feeling ok. I confessed what I'm feeling to Dhines and she told me to pray and ask God to remove what I feel and let it go and let God change me. When I got home, I prayed and asked Him to help me let go the bitterness and hatred. After praying, I called Jhay and told him what happened. After our conversation, I realized that this is my calling. God really wants me to go back and draw near to Him. When my calling started this February 2005, I prayed hard and told God that this time I am ready to give up material things and the things that I can't give up before. I gave Him my commitment and my covenant. I started attending the Sunday service on CEMI Magalang and slowly changing my life. God is working on me and I gave Him the authority to change the not-so-good attitude that I used to have. And He is helping me change my life and have a new improved one. I started feeling the changes and the joy within me.

March 13, 2005, my niece Joy asked me if I want to attend the seminar about Love, Courtship and Marriage on Jesus Our Victory church at Balibago, Angeles City. I didn't had second thought on attending. The seminar was great and I have learned a lot. We receive a warm welcome from the Youth members. When the seminar ended, Mark the Youth Leader talked about thier next crusade and asked us to join them. I felt the exitement when I heard that because I really want to join them and be a Youth member to JOV church. I asked Joy, to ask Esmi when will be the crusade because I am so interested to join and be part of that event that might change my whole life.

March 20, 2005, I attended the Sunday service at JOV together with my niece Joy, Joey, Esmi, RJ, and Milcah. I used to be ashamed on raising my hand on doing the praise and worship but I started being proud and enjoying doing it. I can't help but cried while singing and worshipping Christ. I can feel His presence and I am so thankful for His unconditional love. Each time I think about my past and what HE did to me and the things He gave me, the blessings and how He healed me and how He is slowly worked on my life, I can feel the joy, the undying happiness, and how grateful I am and how blessed I am. Every song we are singing is lifting my spirit higher.

When the service ended, we were requested to stay and be informed for the practice on the same day at around 2pm. That is the Baptismal of my cousin's baby so I have to attend. So what I did is, I went to to my cousin's house after the service ended and go back to church before 2pm. It is tiring and I haven't slept yet because I worked on the Graveyard shift but I can't feel the pressure because I enjoy what I am doing. It's 2pm and we were gathered in the room. Mark our leader, brought some papers and those papers are membership forms. When I heard that, my niece Joy and I were so happy because we really want to be a JOV Family members. Joy and I immediately signed up the form oh wow we are now certified JOV Youth members. On the meeting, we also talked about the Retreat and it will be overnight. Oh I was worried because I might not be able to join them since I am working from 11pm to 7am. Then Mark said it will be on March 23, 2005 and that was Wednesday, oh my heart skipped and I felt gladness because that is my day off. God is really great. Those are not coincidence, it was planned. That was HIS plan for me.

March 23, 2005, our retreat. I went to church around 2pm. I was asked to join the group doing hand mime practice for Shout to the Lord. Oh this the first time I did mime but I enjoyed it and even if I was the oldest among the youth members, I know that it was never too late to get to know Christ more. I am so happy for them because they met HIM earlier and I am praying that they will continue serving HIM and our Lord Father.

The practice has ended, the program proper for the retreat should be started. Kuya Alex is our speaker and the main topic is all about drawing near to God.
Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you men of double mind. - James 4:8. Kuya Alex discussed 5 major reasons why we cannot draw near Him and these are: Sins, habits that you cannot sacrifice, time for God, reading the Bible, and Prayers. I enjoyed listening and I keep on laughing with the samples or situations given by Kuya Alex. The discussion was inspiring. And I was inspired and blessed when Kuya Alex told us about his past life.

After the preaching, we went to Pastor's place at BrentHood, Mabalacat. We were welcomed by our head Pastor, Mar Paras. Then we sung and another preaching from Doctor Jerry (23-yr old dentist). Then we played games named shopping game. It was facilitated by one of JOV counselor. She is a Psychologist. I was given a chance to tell my story and what I shopped. The game is you have to create a story on your mind. The climax of the story was, you were in a shopping mall and you have to buy the things you want for the persons you love and for the youth members and you must buy something for yourself. Then state the reason why you bought that thing for someone or for yourself. What does that thing symbolize.

Here is the story I created: I wake up one morning, since it is my day off I decided to go to Cainta and go malling to Sta. Lucia East Mall. I entered the mall and when I reached the Department Store, I saw a cute angel figuring. I am going to give that to my younger sister Whay. I want to protect her as much as I can and I always want to be on her side. Since I cannot protect her most of the time and I cannot guide her, I want to give her the angel as her protection. Then I saw a white cup and I am going to give that to Joey (my co-youth, my niece bf). I want to give him the white cup and I want him to wear that always for him to always have a clear, clean, and good intentions. And I want him to be good always. Then I saw a hankie, and I want to give that to Kate Williams. Kate is a Fil-Am girl and our co-youth. Such a pretty young lady and really smart. As I heard her stories during sharing, I have seen her cried and I felt the pain within me. I felt the problems she had and how she is coping with it. I want to give the hankie to Kate so that she can use that to wipe her tears. And if feel like crying, she can use the hankie to clean her face and the tears the rolled down her cheeks. Then I bought a Bible and I am giving this to Joy my niece. I am giving her the Bible because now that she found the right direction, I want her to get closer to God, to Christ and know Him more. I want her to stay on the right path and the Bible will serve as her guide. As I walk, I saw some flowers and I bought a boquet of red roses for Esmi (co-youth, Joy's bestfriend). I'll give her flowers because she have different aura lately. She seem so happy and inlove. Esmi is my cousin's girlfriend. She broke up before because of religion. Joey Francis, is not a Christian. But he is now a Christian and actively participate and attend Sunday Service. Though he is attending to other church but I am so happy because he is still a Christian and I am planning to invite him to attend our church instead. Now going back to Esmi, she is so happy now because they recently got back together. I have seen her cried and how sad she was before because of thier break-up. Now that she is happy, I want to see her that way. That is why I am giving her the red roses because I always want her to bloom and be happy and inlove always. As I walk around, I passed by a pharmacy. I bought a Visine and I want to give it to Tiffany. Tiffany is another Fil-Am young lady from our group. She is so pretty and her eyes are really beautiful. When you look at her, even if she is not smiling her eyes are. I am giving her Visine because I want her to stay happy and I always want her to smile and stay beautiful. Then I reached the Supermarket. I had this big bag and I want to put all the groceries I can buy on the bag and I want to give that to my Mom. I wanna give everything I can to my Mom. I want to give everything and support her all the way. Then I forgot to mention that I bought a mug for Mark (our youth leader) I bought him a mug because I want to thank him for his warm welcome and for accepting us to be part of the youth movement. And lastly I bought two things for myself. First I bought, a butterfly brooch. Butterfly because I want to let go all the hatred, bitterness and the worries that I have in my heart. I want to give and surrender it all to God. And lastly a wrist watch. I bought a wrist watch because I want to have much time for God. I am tired most of the time after work and sometimes I even forget to pray before I sleep but I see to it that I pray when I wake-up before I get off my bed. But I want to have an intimate relationship with Him. I want to be inlove with Him all the time. I want to have so much time on reading Bible and to get to know Him better.

The game was done, it's time to eat. After eating we got a closing message from Pastor Mar and a prayer lead by him. Then we go back to JOV church in Balibago. When we arrived the church we were given a time to take a bath and dress-up because we are all sweating and smells bad hehe. When everybody's ready, we are gathered in the middle of the church to have our praise and worship. We sing then we prayed. Then we are all starting to cry. On that moment, I felt HIS presence. As if I am alone, floating in the air and I felt like I am standing in the middle or nowhere. Though I am praying hard, I felt awkward because I thought I was alone so I opened my eyes then I saw them still there. I closed my eyes again and felt the same thing but I continued praying and ask for forgiveness and praised Him. Then I heard Reynante crying out loud. I felt the pain he is feeling. Then I prayed for him. I may not knew him well but I can feel that he have a really big problem so I prayed for him instead.

After praying, we sing again and the songs we are singing are really touching. You'll surely cry while singing and feel his presence. As if He is infront of me hugging and comforting me each time I close my eyes. It felt so good, I never felt that before. I know that I still so much to change when it comes to my attitude but I keep on praying and giving Him the power to change me and help be to be good and a real Christian. I also want to help other get closer to him and know Him better but I want to be a good example. How can I encourage others if I myself was not a model? On my part, I am working on my temper. Being hot-tempered is my weakness. I always pray and ask Him to prolong my patience. There are times that I am being provoked. There is this one person in my team that loves to debate. He keep on testing me, I prefer not to talk and told him that I don't wanna debate because I might say something wrong that will hurt us both. He is a big trial not only to me but also to my other friends. But I am praying for him but I prefer not to talk to him because he keep on provoking us. My patience is the hard trial that I am working on and I know God is working on it too. I cannot do this alone, I need Him. I need His help to control me. Sometimes I am loosing my control and get mad easily due to some situations that keep on testing my patience. I just wanna break down and cry. I don't wanna get mad and lose my control because I don't wanna hurt anyone because of the harsh words coming out from my mouth. I do not actually curse but when I'm mad I talk in rough and tough way. I hated myself each time I get mad but I know He is currently working on me and I know that in time I will get over this and be as soft-spoken as a real Christian. To all the people who know me, please be patient, please wait, Christ is not yet done working on me. I am doing my best to control myself and be soft-spoken even when I am irate. That is what I always pray for myself because I don't wanna upset anybody just because of this attitude for I am hurt more when I hurt anybody. I don't want them to sin because of that. Anywayz, it felt so good after crying, and do the praise and worship. It's like there is this big stone in your heart and it rolled out from it and you can breathe easily.

It's 4am in the morning, it's time for another game. We had so much fun playing the Open-Close Book and the Past-Present-Future game. We haven't slept but we are all having fun. After the game has done, our counselor will interpret our story and tell us our personality. For Kate, she wants to be just an ordinary girl as she can be. She wants to be treated as normal young lady. She maybe different because she is Fil-Am but she wants to be treated normal. For Joy, she is a good comforter. A friend you can lean on. For Rose, though she is pretty and talented, she is not that confindent. And here is her interpretation for my story: "You are very protective when it comes to your younger sister. Trust her once in a while she can do it on her own. You are more than concern to the feelings of others instead of your own feelings. Sometimes, others want to let go because they cannot breathe for you are protecting them much and you care for them that much. Try to balance it. You are much affected when any of your friends or any person you love was hurt. You have the gift of mercy same with me. You are being hurt more. You feel the pain more than they do." Ate told me to correct her if she is wrong but those are true. I do protect my family and friends and fight for them when they were hurt. I am more affected with the situation. Sometimes, I cried first before they do. Oh at least now I know what to work on. I will try her advice to balance it.

It's 5:30am and we're almost done so it's time to sleep but we have to wake up around 7:30am. Oh too bad to have only 2 hours sleep but it's ok we enjoyed it. You'll feel the difference after the retreat. I am revived and it felt so good. You'll fell the joy that you never felt before. A fulfilling joy, more than the joy you felt when the person you love did sweet things to you and tell you I love you. The feeling is beyond that. I can't explain it but it's amazing. God is really great. Praise Him!

March 27, 2005. I attended the Sunday morning service. Pastor Mar was not there the other Pastors preached the Gospel. The gospel was all about Christ when He was risen. While praising and worshipping Him, I can't control the tears that run down my cheeks. You will feel how He sacrificed His life just to pay our dept. I felt the guilt because of all the sins I have done. How many times I've turned away from Him but He never stop chasing me and He keeps on calling me. His unconditional love is truely amazing and I am so glad He had for forgiven me and give me another chance to know Him and draw closer to Him. After the service, the youth were gathered and we were informed to be back at 2pm for our practice since our Crusade will be on March 28, 2005, Monday. That is the only time we'll be having our practice. I was thinking that we'll surely extend our time and I haven't slept yet and I work on the graveyard shift 11pm to 7am. God is really great because Jerome was looking for a swap last friday and he is looking for Wednesday off, his day off is Sunday. I switched schedule with him so it's my day off that Sunday and so it's ok even if we extend time. I have nothing to worry because I do not need to go to work. Praise God!

2pm, it's practice time. We are there at before 1pm and we seem to excited hehe. Others are not yet around so we have to wait at the lobby. During the practice, I enjoyed so much. Joey, Joey Francis, Esmi, Milcah, and I we'll be on dance ministry and we will be dancing Who's in the House together with Aries, Eric, April, Almira, Michael, Mike, JC, Daniel, and Gabriel. Joy and RJ together with other youth will do the Hand Mime for Lead Me Lord. We are supposed to do the Mime for Shout to the Lord but we ran out of time and I should be joining them hehe. My co-dancers are teasing me because I am so energetic. I keep on practicing and ask them to dance again and again. I am enjoying it because it's my first time to dance in the crowd for Jesus. I always dance in stage but this time I am doing it for Him and I am so glad to serve Him. The practice has ended at 7:45pm and we reached home at 8:30. I can't even sleep because I am so excited for the big day. We practice just in few hours and we have to perform that the next day oh that is really scary. I am nervous but I know God is with us.

March 28, 2005, Crusade Day. Joey Francis, Joy, Esmi, RJ, Milcah, Joan, Joey, and me went to the church together. We are about to pay and when I opened my bag my wallet is missing. I am so embarraced because they pay for me instead of me paying for them. We reached the church around 4:30 and we are about to go Mawaque. The Crusade will start at 6pm. We gave out invitations to the people there. We go from one house to another to invite them.

6pm, the Crusade will be started. Our hosts are Kuya Don and the other guy. The first part of the program is for the Singing Ministry. Curt was the first one to sing. Curt is another Fil-Am young man. He sung Noypi by Bamboo. Then followed by Mary Ann that sung Wag na Wag, Miss Cutie sung If I Ain't Got You, then Kate sung Someday You'll Know, Andre sung Fallen by Janno Gibbs, and lastly Zussane sung Fallin. After the singers, we have guess dancers and they danced Choopeta. Next is the praise and worship led by Kuya Alex. The youth were asked to sing with him and stand infront of the stage. I am not that familiar with the songs but I joined them. Praising God is great. I was Christian for a long time but each time I attend the service I seldom raise my hand to worship Him. But this time I am doing it proudly in front of hundred people. I never done that before and I am so blessed and felt the joy. I am so proud to praise Him now. Dance Ministry is next, so it's our turn. The moment I stepped my feet on the stage I felt the crowd, excitement, and I am nervous at the same time. Then the music started...wwhhooaaa! I dance as graceful as I can and I so proud to dance for Christ. Drama is next on the line. Oh our co-youth members are really greate on acting. I cried while watching them. They are all great. I love it. After the drama was Mark's turn to share the Words of God. It;s time for calling. We encouraged other youth to accept Christ. We are not there to promote our religion, we are there to promote Christ our Lord. It was overwhelming seeing the youth even eldest to stand in front and willing to accept Christ. And you know what? There is this one man, he is actually drunk that approaced Mark after the prayer and told him that he may be drunk but what he heard and felt a while ago was different and told Mark that he want to meet Christ. We prayed for these people and it felt really different. Me myself was amazed. I never done that in my whole life but I am so glad and proud of that event. I was so blessed. And lastly is the Hand Mime show doing Lead Me Lord. Wow! I love thier hand movements. I liked it when they form the cross and the heart that beats. It's wonderful, heart-warming, and enjoying.

10:00pm, the Crusade has done. It's time to go home but I have to go to work. I go straight to work after that. While waiting for our company's service, I called up Jhay and told him what happened on the Crusade. I told him how blessed I am and how glad I am because of the Crusade. He asked me if that is my first time, I said yes. I thanked him because he is one of my inspiration for going back to church. He was one of my motivations and influence. He is heaven sent.

On my way to work, I am thinking about what happened to me in just a month. I am really blessed and I know this is what He wants for me. My life is slowly changing. He is slowly changing me. I know that there are still a lot of things that I need to change on my life specially on my attitude, nobody's perfect but I am doing my best to change so please wait, Christ is not yet done to me. He is just starting. I am praying for these changes. I've been through a lot of troubles and trials but He never left me. He've been there through thick and thin. I want the world to know how amazing our Lord is. He will always be there no matter what happen. There are times that we prayed, we don't get an answer but that does not mean that He abandoned us and He never listens. He is there and has a plan for all of us. He is preparing us and the best things that are instore for us. There might be some delays but He knows the perfect timing and He is always on time. All you have to do is believe in Him and wait. He will never fail us..never ever. He is our Lord...a Lord that can do even impossible things for us. You have to entrust your life to Him. Offer Him all the pain, troubles, and worries you have and He will take them away from you. Jesus loves us...so much. I know that it is not too late to believe in Him. I am 24 and the eldest among the Youth but I never think of that as an hindrance on getting to know Him better, for having an intimate relationship with him. I am so happy for the other youth for they met Him earlier and I am praying for them and continue what they have started. I really felt so different when I am with these young people. I can't explain the feeling but the joy is undying because it makes my heart smile each I think all the things we have done specially the Crusade. I am so proud of these guys. I promise Him that I will do my best to serve Him. I will serve Him with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind, and with all my strenght. Sometimes it is different because I have to change but I am willing and I know in time that I will be the person He wants me to be. Someday, I will be a great Christian, a great preacher, a good influence to others. Please give me a chance to change as He had given me the chance. I and Christ is currently working on my life. Please wait and someday you'll see the Real and Great Christian in me. It might take some time but I will never give up as I gave him my covenant. I will do my best to serve Him and be good to Him and to other people. Thank you Lord for the chance you gave me. I love You so much and I want to continue serving You till my last breath.