How Do I Love Him? Let Me Count The Ways.

How do I love him? Let me count the ways.
I love him from the depth and height of my soul.
I love him more than the water that I take;
And more than the air that I breathe.
I love him for every single second my heart beats.
I love him from range and distance my mind can reach.
I love him from the night that I sleep, the moment I dream;
And till the day that I open my eyes.
I love him from the sun starts to shine till the time it sets.
For the joy, giggles, sorrows, and pain that I feel;
From earth to heaven I shall love him still.
With my lost spirit, I love him with the breath,
Smiles, laughs, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love him better after death.

The Calling.. Test of Faith!

I am so ashame to admit that my relationship with God before was like a roller-coaster. There are times that my faith was tested. My life was in vain when my father died. He had his third heart-attack on October 6, 2002. I prayed hard during those times asking Him to heal my father and prolong his life. Seeing the person you love most lying down in coma on ICU room is hard and really painful. I love my father so much and I even ask God that I am willing to give half of my life to my father just for him to live. He was not even moving or talking. We are in so much pain specially seeing him like that and seeing your mother crying. When I was a kid, I'm always asking HIM to prolong my parents life. I am asking Him not to take any of them away from us not unless I have accomplish the life that they want for me and the kind of life that I want for them. My only dream is to have a bigger house, maids for my parents and for my nephew and nieces. To have my own car to drive my father during his meetings or any occassion he wants to attend to. He died 10 days after. I questioned HIM why? And told Him the favor I asked but He still let my father died. He had so much to offer, there are a lot of people that depend on him for help and ask Him whiy did he take away my father from us. It is hard for me to accept the fact the he is no longer with us though I know he is happy on God's place. My father is so kind and really generous and a loving father. He was loved and respected to all the people who knows him. He is the best father, nothing compares. I wouldn't ask for more. He got it all expect material things but I am so proud of him because he is rich with friends.On the long run, I am slowly getting over the pain but still cry hard each time I remember him up to this time. I am missing him often that is why it is so hard. Then I met this guy, we became friends and super close. He was my comfort and he knows how much I miss my father. He is my shoulder to cry on. While with this guy I am slowly recovering from pain and happiness is coming at my door. I still miss my father but not as much I do before. I am starting to have my strength back and ready for trials again knowing that this guy is right beside me. After a year, this guy left me for he found someone new. I was hurt to bad because I've sacrifices and gave almost everything for the sake of loving this guy. This guy hurt me really bad which I don't deserve. I felt the same pain that I had when my dad died after I lost this guy. I am fighting for it and pushing myself to get over it because I know it's not worth it. But everytime I remember what happened and thinking that I don't deserve what he had done, anger is growing in my heart. Hatred for his new girl for they lied to me and being such a bitch. This girl is trying to befriend me but she is stabbing me back. I don't like her for him because I don't like her attitude. I keep on praying and asking Him to help me get over the pain but I asking for justice. I want them to repay what they have done to me. I am being so selfish I know, but I am only human and that is human nature. When you are hurt, you want them to pay for it. I am full of hatred and pain for 5 months.

One night, I got a text message. Till I get to know this guy, his name was Roberto Caisip II or Jhay Caisip. He is the angel that was sent from above, an angel that moved me and touched my heart. I am starting to get over the pain and I'm slowly healing. He was so kind to me though we never meet each other in person. I can see and feel his pure heart and good soul. Jhay changed my life. I have learned a lot of things from him. Simply talking to him or reading his sweet messages makes me stronger. I never thought that I will get over in such pain easily and it only takes one kind and really patient friend. Jhay is religious person and he had moved me and helped me realized how great God is. He became the medium for me to be born again. I was a back slider and since I met him I have realized a lot of things. He didn't preach anything to me but on his own simple ways I was changed. I started reading inspirational and religious book since we became close. It's been a long time since I read my Bible, now everytime I need an answer I'm using it and The Purpose Drive Life book. The first book that I bought is Encouraging Word for Women. I was thinking of him when I bought that one. Everytime I think how good he is, it encourages me to do good things. Thinking that he does not smoke, does not drink, doing charity works, missions, Bible studies, he was even a youth leader, all of those things inspire me to do the same. I wanna be like him and have a good relationship with God. He's been a big help each time I want to control myself. If I am mad, what I do is think how good and kind he is, then I am relief and free from anger again. Maybe it's wrong to think that I was changed because of him not because of God, all I can say is he is the meduim on all of these. This is his mission in my life. He reached out on me and now I became a better person.

Another person that helped me became closer to God is Odina Ramos or Dhines. This friend of mine is also one of the few. She also have a good soul and really kind lady. We became closer the moment that I knew that she was resigning so she reached out on us and invited us to this so-called bonding. She was with us during the trouble on SM City happened. Dhines, inspired me so much. Just imagine, she is giving up her career, the guy she love, her family and all the material things on the world to pursue her mission on reaching out for poor people. We became closer and share each other's secrets. I enjoy every moment that I spent on talking to this lady. She is amazing and really kind. Simply listening from her stories will lift my spirit. We had our bonding yesterday just the two of us, the more that I am getting closer to her is the more I am getting closer to God. I am always praying that she will be successful and be blessed on her mission.

Jhay and Dhines have this big influence in my life. They are keeping me closer to God. Last Sunday is my first time to attend church service again. I do pray but I don't go to church but last Sunday, I was so overwhelmed and really happy for coming back to where I truely belong. I cried and thanked God for letting me meet these 2 persons because they brought me back to life..to Christian life. While praying, I committed myself to Him and have my covenant with Him. From now on, I'll see to it that I will never miss Sunday service. And it feels great. I am so happy last Sunday and I am thinking about these 2 guys because my relationship with God is becoming better. They are the meduim used by God to wake me up. I realized how much God loves me. He loves me so much because the moment the he took away the guy that I loved was the moment I was blessed. God turned me away from bad things because He knows that I will not be a better person if I'll continue my relationship with this guy. I know that he is kind infairness to him but we are bringing out the worst in us when you are together. I am giving him more attention than my family. I loved him more than anything and anyone which is not right. He became my world and my life and I understand why He let me loose him for these reasons. God should be the center of my life not him.

I know sometimes that my faith was tested that is why I am asking Him to prolong my patience and faith. I'm always telling Him not to let go of my hand. I know sometimes I let go but He keeps on pulling my hand. One of my weaknesses is being hot-tempered and I do cursed when I am mad. My family and friends know me for being kind but when I get mad, I am like a volcano. That is the weakness that I am trying to work out. I'm always praying and ask for His help to take away hatred and my weakness from me, and prolong my faith. When I am getting mad I think of Jhay, simply thinking of him helps me control my temper. God is so great for He gave my Jhay and Dhines and used them as His meduim because they are helping me to overcome my weaknesses. I was so sad for the past few days but when I told Dhines about it..she told me to talk to God and tell him my problem as how I told her about it. I did that when I got home and called Jhay to talk to him and I felt the blessings and joy pouring down my body after I talked to Him and talking to Jhay. I am really grateful for meeting Jhay and Dhines for everytime I think of them , I think of God and all the good things I can do, how blessed I am and each time I am having a problem, I think of God and I know I can get over it knowing that He is there. Thinking of them gives me smile in my lips, joy deep within my heart and love coming from the depth and height of my soul can reach. I know that I'll be a better person because I have them. And I have now a better vision of life and I hope and pray that this will continue and I will help others too to do the same. I am proud to say that He is the center of my life, my reason for living. And I know that Jhay and Dhines will be able to help others too because they have the gift to move souls. I wish to have the same gift. Jhay is right, "Everything happens for a reason, for a purpose. God is in control." God really loves me so much and I am proud to say that. He took away the things/persons that He knows will not help me to be a better person and replaced it with things/persons that are so good. I am so lucky and very much happy now. Sometimes I am telling myself, I just wish I lost that guy earlier. I hope and pray that the girl she is with right now will bring out the best in him not the worst in him. But they are forgiven of course. Jhay and Dhines and not to mention Aple and my other friends brought out the best in me. Aple was also one of the persons who help me get over the pain I've been through. She helped me how to stay pretty. She gave me a lot of things to gained back my confidence. She was one of my shock-absorber together with Robin, Dyen, Gwen, Sak, Mai, Bojo, Unz, Ai, Daneth, Sheng, Donna, Jay, Chris, and Nola. I am really happy for having my friends around. They are not just ordinary friends, they are real and good influence to me. I must give credit to these people, to these friends of mine because they are my blessings, my wealth, my treasure. Who cares, I just lost one guy I gained more friends which are better and people that I can treasure for life.

"Thank you Lord. You are so great."

Shall We Dance?

Synopsis:

John Clark is a man with a wonderful job, a charming wife and a loving family, who nevertheless feels that something is missing as he makes his way every day through the city. Each evening on his commute home, John sees a beautiful woman, staring with a lost expression through the window of a dance studio. Haunted by her gaze, John impulsively jumps off the train one night, and signs up for dance lessons, hoping to meet her. At first, it seems like a mistake. His teacher turns out to be not Paulina, but the older Miss Mitzi, and John proves just as clumsy as his equally clueless classmates on the dance-floor. Even worse, when he does meet Paulina, she icily tells John she hopes he has come to the studio to seriously study dance and not to look for a date. But, as his lessons continue, John falls in love with dancing. Keeping his new obsession from his family and co-workers, John feverishly trains for Chicago's biggest dance competition. His friendship with Paulina blossoms, as his enthusiasm rekindles her own lost passion for dance. But the more time John spends away from home, the more his wife becomes suspicious. With his secret about to be revealed, John will have to do some fancy footwork to keep his dream going and realize what it is he really yearns for.

Favorite Scenes From The Movie:

When Miss Mitzi is teaching Vern, John and Chic the cha-cha move. I love seeing Richard Gere doing the cha-cha. He's move was so graceful like a woman and he is cute when they did the cha-cha turn. Oh my he's still gorgeous!

Link was hiding from John because John recognized him and he's chasing him on the dance floor and keep staring on him till Link's wig was removed. I find that part really funny.

Link and John are on thier company's comfort room, Link is teaching John the right moves. While they are doing the steps, holding each other, suddenly one of thier co-workers came. Link acted like he fainted, then John shouted 911, 911, call 9111. The guy ran faster to call 911 and they ended up laughing on the floor.

Paulina asked for an hour after they ate and talk from John to teach him how to feel the dance because John was kinda nervous for the competition. They've practiced rumba and I love seeing them dancing. They look good together. JLO is alluring and really beautiful on that part. Richard is so hot though.

On the competition, Link and Bobbie are really great on dancing. They are so funny doing some witty steps. While John and Bobbie are also great and I love it when they do the quick steps.

While John is reading the letter Paulina gave, they are showing Paulina on the background dancing. I love JLO on that part. She was wearing a black soft, long pants and a purple backless hanging blouse. My God she had a great body. You'll see her butt and you'll envy her. And she dances like a gooddess on that part. I wish I have a body like that and I wish I can dance as good as she does.

John approached her wife Beverly while preparing the food and tell her: "The one thing I am proud of in my whole life is you are happy with me. If I couldn't ....... If I couldn't tell you I wasn't happy sometimes is because I don't want to risk hurting the one person I treasure most. I am so sorry." That is one of the scenes that made me cried. That is touching.

John decided to go to the party but he wants to go with his wife. He wore the suits and shoes Beverly bought for her bought a rose and planned to pick her up on her office. He was on the escalator holding the rose on his chest. Then he is smiling, I feel like I'm the one he's smiling at and I'm melting and giggle while looking at him. He gave the rose to Beverly and asked him to go with him. That is the most romantic part of the movie. I felt the love and joy from that scene.


Famous Lines From The Movie:

"You haven't found one?" John Clark "Once. He was my dancing partner for 15 years. We were husband and wife for 14. He was my perfect partner. It doesn't happen twice in a life time. I am lucky I even had it once" Miss Mitzi

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness." Beverly Clark

"I wouldn't dance with that guy if he were the last bald, sequin-wearing freak on Earth," Bobbie

"The rumba is the vertical expression of a horizontal wish. You have to hold her, like the skin on her thigh is your reason for living. Let her go, like your heart's being ripped from your chest. Throw her back, like you're going to have your way with her right here on the dance floor. And then finish, like she's ruined you for life." Paulina

"The beautiful woman and her partner stopped right in front of us. She tilted her head back in Winter Pool pause and winked at me. And I felt like she was trying to tell me something. I took it as a sign and from then on, I thought ballroom dancing will be my life." Paulina

"The one thing I am proud of in my whole life is you are happy with me. If I couldn't ....... If I couldn't tell you I wasn't happy sometimes is because I don't want to risk hurting the one person I treasure most. I am so sorry." John Clark

"Fuck you all! Football sucks!" Link Peterson

"Why aren't you at the party?“ Beverly Clark "It's a dance. To dance I need a partner, and my partner is right here!” "Beverly, dance with me?" John Clark "I don't know how" Beverly Clark "Yeah, you do! You've been dancing with me for 19 years." John Clark "Don't know the steps!" Beverly Clark "I'll teach you how." John Clark "Here?" Beverly Clark "Right now!" John Clark (whispered)


My Thoughts:

This is one of the best movies I've seen. The sweetest and most romantic one. A must-see movie. It's fabuluos, I am giving a two-thumbs up or 5 of of 5 stars for the movie. The movie was so sweet and funny, a perfect mix or humor and romance. It will make you cry, giggle, laugh, and it will leave a smile not just in your lips as well as within your heart. It will make you want to run out and take dance lessons. I love the story and of course the dances, the dancing scenes are wonderful. Dancing part rocks! I don't care about the Japanese version because I love this one. You'll feel the love deep within when you watch this movie.

Jennifer Lopez is so hot and you'll envy the body she have plus her x-factor and the outfits she's wearing on movie, she is a fantastic dancer and a good actress. Gigli flop but who cares JLO did an excellent acting on this one and her moves are really great. She is talented and she deserve praises this time. And not to mention, Richard Gere was absolutely charming. It's good seeing him dancing specially when doing the quick steps. He's so gorgeous specially when he is smiling. I love his eyes when he smiles. Susan was pretty and I love looking at her eyes too. She have this bright and really expressive eyes. A great actress no doubt about it.

I was overwhelmed while watching the movie, I looked around me and I saw couples ages 40 years above watching with us and some are with thier children . You'll hear them laugh, giggle, some are crying too like me, and we are all shouting when John came out from the escalator wearing his suits, holding the flower. While giggling, I sighed, cried and told myself "I wish I could find the one that will dance with me forever. The dancing partner, the perfect partner who is willing to go with me and follow my steps whether it is rumba, cha-cha, foxrot, waltz, boggie, hiphop, reggae or jazz and vice versa. The one that will treasure me for the rest of his life and someone who is willing to teach me his steps and not give up on me if I'll have hard time following his steps. Someone that will carry me on his arms when time comes that I can no longer dance"


Movie Soundtrack:


Book of Love
Peter Gabriel

The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing

But I
I love it when you read to me
And you
You can read me anything

The book of love has music in it
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb

But I
I love it when you sing to me
And you
You can sing me anything

The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young to know

But I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
And I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings

And I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
You ought to give me wedding rings

If You Keep Your Heart Open, It Will Come Again..

"A very inspirational article that can open ones heart. While reading the article, I nod while smiling because I do agree with it. I've been hurt many times but that does not mean, I will not love again. As what they say, when you say I love you to the person, you are giving that person the right to hurt you. Love will always find you no matter what and wherever you are. You cannot escape it for it will find its way. When it knocks on you, open your heart and let it in for it may never come again. One thing I could advice is, let God choose for you. Don't rush things. Don't push the river. Let it flow. Good things come for those who wait. He will give the person you truely deserve. The person that will love you unconditionally will be there infront of you unexpectly. Keep on praying and keep up the faith and He will give you the desire of your heart in His time. Let him plan your life including the one you will love."

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart. If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love her/him, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different. If you fall in love with another, and he/she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time. Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in anyway you can. This is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love,they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them. The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away. Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery. Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life. Don't deny love only because you don't want to be hurt...

IF YOU KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN, IT WILL COME AGAIN.

SM City Pampanga Bank Robery-Shoot Out..Wake-up Call?

My friends and I planned a girl-bonding date before hand to watch Shall we dance. February 9, 2004 6am, I checked City Guide web site to verify the movies showing, Unz, Sak, Dhines and I really want to watch Shall We Dance but unfortunately, it's not yet showing on SM. We are having second thoughts on going because of that but we decided to go and watch another movie. We are choosing between A very long engagement and Elektra. Unz and I stayed at Sak's place. We had our pedicure and I took a nap for 30 minutes. Dhoy sent me text message telling me that it is showing on Jade Cinema. We are thinking to go there instead but we ended up going to SM City still and watch Shall We Dance on other day.

On our way to SM, we are giggling and laughing while telling stories. All the passengers are looking because we are so loud on the jeepney. We arrived at around 11 and we immediately checked the movies showing and we decided to watch Elektra on its second screening at 1pm. We want to eat first and chit-chat before we watch. We ate at Sbarro as Dhines recommended. Dhines ordered Italian spaghetti, mine is lasagna with white sauce, Unz ordered baked macaroni on tomato sauce mixed with white sauce and stuff pizza for Sak. Dhines paid for our meal, it's a treat. The food is great..no kidding. Sak, Unz and I ate there for the first time and we enjoyed the food. We shared our meals of course. I love the pizza and lasagna on white sauce. While eating we shared our family stories, on my turn I cried and I made them cried too. I am really emotional and too sensitive when it comes to my family because I love them so much. I told them about my younger sister, my nieces and nephews, my mom and my dad that I'm missing so much. I shared them my dreams for my family. I even told them that I can't leave my family without fulfulling my dreams and give them what they need. Sak shared her stories on how they struggle when her older sister was sick and died. She shared her dramatic family story. Unz wants to have her own family and take her mom with her away from her brothers and sisters. Dhines is the only person among us that have not so-dramatic family story. We are laughing when Dhines told us about her younger brother. How sweet he is and his being naughty sometimes. But I admire Dhines for she chosen to pursue a mission.. to reach out with poor people and she will give up her career on AOL to pursue that. Would you imagine that sacrifices? This friend touched my life in a way. I have planned that too but I decided to take good care of my family instead.

It's 12:45pm... time for the movie. We are sitting pretty on theather with our feet elevated. The movie was great. Jennifer Garner is so hot, really beautiful and sexy and the scenes was really wonderful. The movie ended around 3:30, alright it's shopping time. Sak will be buying sandals for her mudra (mother), I'll be buying plate set for my baby Ashley and clothes for my nieces. Dhines does not want to go in Department Store because she does not want to be tempted and told us that she'll go to National Bookstore and we will meet her there after we shop. On SM Department store, I found the plate set for Ashley then Sak and Unz asked me if they can go to the Shoes section to find the sandals for mudra. So I was left alone. Then I found a dress for Annabelle and looking for something for Andrea. I send text message to my sister asking if Andrea's bust is starting to develop because I want to buy baby bra for her but they don't reply. I found really cute panties for them so I picked one. Then I heard shouting and I saw people running towards my direction. I'm wondering what's happening but starting to palpitate. Then I heard shots and more people are running. I started running to look for sak but I can't pass because more people are coming so I ran with them till I reached the fire exit. I stopped on the stairs then I asked a guy what is happening. He told me that there is a shoot-out and they are coming in here on department store. I took out my phone and start calling Sak but I could not reach her. Then I tried Unz number same thing cannot reach her my heart beating faster and my body starting to shake. I am receiving auto-message from Globe Call Alert. I could not reach them because they are calling me while I'm calling. I stop calling for few minutes then start calling again then I reached them. Sak answered asking me where I am. I told her that I am on a fire exit. I asked her where are they. She told me they are outside, "Outside? Where is that?" I asked again. Infront of Popeye's. "Where are you exactly? How did you get there?" Sak asked. "Here on fire exit. I don't know how did I get here. I just ran. I'll go there stay where you are" I answered. While I ran a guy told me we cannot go out. "Sak, they don't want me out (crying)" I said. "Ok stay there and we'll be there" Sak anwered. While talking we're really shaking and panicking. When I hang up the phone, I heard people shouting and running towards my direction again. I don't know what to do then. Are they coming? I asked myself. Then I started running again. Can't run faster because I'm shaking and there are lot of people running with me. Then we reached SM Admin office but we cannot go out. Then more people shouting and running towards our direction. I go inside the cafeteria then I sat down thinking, praying for my friends to be safe. I dialled Dhines number to check if she is safe but I can't reach her. I send a message asking where she is and if she is safe. No reply, I am so worried about her because she is all alone. I don't want my family know what is happening so I did not text them. Then Jhay came into my mind. I send him a message telling him what is happening to me, that whatever will happen to me, he should remember that I am grateful for knowing him. He is important to me and I care so much about him. I tried to call him but there is no answer. Then I heard shouts and people are running again. My God what will I do where will I go? My whole body is shaking and I don't know what to think and what to do at the same time worried about my friend because they are outside. I saw a door and some of the people are running there. I decided to go there too, that is SM's stock room. When I reach the dead end, there was a gate where you can go out to the street but I can't leave my friends so I stayed. I saw a chair and I sitted there, I vowed my head and prayed ask him to take good care of my friends. I dialled Dhines number again to no avail. I was about to dial Unz number then I saw Sak coming. I shouted then I hugged her tight and my tears fall down. While hugging her, I asked where is Dhines, "Were you able to talk to her? I cannot reach her" I said. Sak said no, she can't reach her too. I am so happy to see them but worried about Dhines because she is all alone. We can't do nothing so we sitted and asked each other what happened till someone says "It's safe now. They're gone. They were arrested. You can go out now" We stand out and go out to look for Dhines. We went to National Bookstore to look for Dhines because that is supposed to be our meeting place. While walking Unz and I hold each other's hand so tight because we don't wanna lose each anyone again but we are still shaking. Then we search all the corners of National Bookstore but unfortunately she is not there. We asked some people but they didn't remember her and don't recognize her. Then we looked around for her went back and forth and back to department store but we cannot find her still. Nervous and fear is still there and it's getting stronger when we are hearing noises. We spent almost 2 hours looking for Dhines but we still can't find her. I became more worried. But we decided to go home because it's getting late. Sak and Unz go home togethere because I have a different way. after a few minutes I got a message from Dhines telling me that she looked for us in the Department Store. Asking if we are safe and she is safe and don't worry about her. My heart beats faster and started to cry again I don't know why. I should have been feel fine by then knowing that she is ok. Then I dialled her number to ask where she is for me to wait for her but she didn't answer the fone so I proceed going home. I'm starting to be ok thinking we are all safe but shaking still. Thank God we are all safe. God is so great for He kept us safe. On my way home, I'm still shaking and crying. I send text message to Daneth telling her wish she is here and hug her and our other barkada and tell them how much I care for them. I asked Auh to visit me at home that time because I want to see her. But she can't go but told me to visit me the next day instead. I can't text Sheng because she does not have her fone as well as Sharon because she is in Cambodia. I really wanna see them all that time and hug them. When I got home I run crying reaching for my mom, then I hugged her tight while crying. She was surprised and asked me what happened and I told her what happened. Whay asked (my sister) "how about glenn? he is there." "what? i though it was his day off." I asked. We tried to call him but no response. Then I called Jhay, and told him what happened. He sent me a message telling me that Everything happens for a purpose for a reason. Worry not for God is in control. Very inspirational message which is true and I am very much grateful for we are all safe and learned a lot from that experience. I thought the stamp-feed which happened when we watched Eat Bulaga at Expo was the most unforgettable experience I had but this is worst.

I slept but I woke up in a few minutes and I couldn't go back to sleep because I can't help to cry because the memories are coming back. I was thinking, what if I died that time? what if i was shut? or one of us was killed or shut? Oh my that is terrible I think I had a trauma. I send another message to Jhay but I don't expect a response thinking that he's aslept. I told him that I can't sleep and all the questions I had on my mind and told him that I am really grateful for knowing him, if I could only do something for him I will, I want to help him find the right girl for him, I want him to be happy and succeed and all the stuff on my mind. Then I got a reply telling me that I am making him nervous. No need to prove something simply knowing that you are there is enough. Then I asked, what if i died that time? will you fo on my funeral? Then he answered, of course yes but I won't go alone, I'll bring Gen with me, who am I? You know what? For you not to worry, open your Bible now and pray. You'll get the answers. "I will do that my dear. Thanks a lot. Sleep now, sorry for disturbing you. Do not worry you can go alone on my funeral, my family and my friends know you just tell your name and they will surely hug and thank you on my behalf. Goodnight!" I replied. I immediately look for my bible but I can't find it. It's on my mom's room but I cannot go there, they're aslept. It's too late to disturb them. Then I found my The Purpose Driven Life book and opened it and I read: God's ultimate goal for your life on earth is not comfort, but character development. He wants you to grow up spiritually and become like Christ. One answer is that life is supposed to be difficult. It's what enables us to grow. You exist for God's purposes not vice versa. I prayed afterwards and I can't help to cry. The tears keep on flowing. I asked for forgiveness and and thanked Him for keeping us safe and for the blessings.

I've learned a lot from that experience. I learned how to value life and the things I have. The value of friendship. I was so touched when Unz and Sak looked for me when they've learned that I cannot go out. They still look for me knowing it's too risky. Dhines was all alone but took the risk on looking for us. Thank God for giving me such a wonderful friends. I am so grateful for we are all safe. I became sweeter, more loving and more faithful and much closer to God, to my family and my friends. Jhay is right, everything happens for a reason and God is in control. God is so great and we have to thank him always. Value everything He had given you those are blessings. I am ok now knowing that God, my family and my friends are always there for me. Thank you Lord for being so good to me. I maybe don't deserve all the blessings He has given but I will make everything I received worth it. Let God control your life and it's worth it.

Ashley Gwen

A-bsolutely Adorable
S-ent from up above that brings joy to our home
H-aving her is such a blessing for she is so lovable
L-ittle angel that loves to play
E-nergetic and really hyperactive
Y-ou'll surely wish to have a baby like her when you get to see her

G-iggles and laughs are what you'll always hear
W-onderful smiles she shows will give you hope
E-xtreme felicity is what you'll see from her bright eyes
N-o one can ever resist this super cutie and special baby girl

That is Ashley Gwen Manansala, my pretty niece. I really love her. She is the joy that releases my burden and relieves me from weary. I envy my younger sister for having such an angel like her baby. I actually want to adopt her and I'll stay single. But of course I want to have my own baby..a baby girl as beautiful and talented as Ashley Gwen.